Antimatter
by tikitikirevenge
Summary: The real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real story behind Kirby's Dreamland 3! Please read and review. Discontinued due to incredible old age.
1. The Adventure Begins

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: Nintendo owns all of the characters in this story. They will not own it as soon as my magical time machine is completely built. In the meantime, please don't copy this, and please don't eat people. I do not endorse jumping off cliffs in any manner.

Someone is going to ask about the name. Three reasons: "Antimatter" sounds cool, "antimatter" sounds vaguely like "dark matter", and "antimatter" more or less sums up your opinion of this story – YOUR OPINION DOES NOT MATTER! DIE! GRGH!  
So you're reading this. Why? I bet I know. You've read all those stories out there, telling you the "real" story behind the Kirby games. You've read the "real, real" stories behind the Kirby games. This is different.  
Be prepared…  
…for the **real, real, real** story behind the Kirby games! All right, only KD3. Okay, it's not official. Granted, I have no life. But nonetheless…

**_The Adventure Begins_**

Our story begins, beneath, of all things, an apple tree. This wasn't any old apple tree, mind you. _This_ apple tree was being used as cover. Specifically, a Waddle Dee was digging through the ground underneath the great Dreamland forest, trying to escape the greedy gaze of two Dreamlanders.  
It did not.  
"It mine!" shouted Gooey, the blue blob-like thing. With a tongue.  
"No!" shouted our hero, Kirby, the pink spherical thing. With a mouth. "I found it!"  
Gooey poked his tongue through the ground, grabbed the Waddle Dee with it, and pulled it out.  
"!" said the Waddle Dee, which didn't have a mouth.  
"Mmm…" said Kirby and Gooey together. They jumped for it at the same time, but collided with each other, causing the Waddle Dee to spontaneously explode.  
"Bad Waddleh Dhee," said Gooey, tripping over his tongue and landing underneath a coconut tree. He looked up just in time to see the coconut heading towards his face. "No feh fair!" he said.

_Meanwhile… somewhere else…  
_Dark Matter was a strange ball of mysterious energy. He was really, really strange. And mysterious. And strange.  
"Ha!" he said, floating through space. "I will eventually conquer the universe! This is because I am really, really strange. And mysterious. And strange."  
Dark Matter's plan, as you may have noticed, was to take over the universe. Being the clever strange ball of mysterious energy he was, he knew how to possess people. He decided that this would be the best way to take over.  
"It would be easier to possess people than try to become an intergalactic ice cream corporate giant," he concluded. "I can't _stand_ ice cream. It's… too sweet." (NOT that this has anything to do with how Dark Matter is defeated. _IF_ Dark Matter is defeated. I haven't said anything yet. Ignore this whole thing! Please!)  
Thus began Dark Matter's plan to take over the universe. "I think," he said, "that I should do it one planet at a time. But which planet to take over first?" He pondered on this for some time, before coming to a decision. "I'll use this **non-rigged die** (TM) to come to my decision."  
And with that, he produced a 54729-sided hyper-dimensional die and rolled it.  
_Inside the die…_  
Little did Dark Matter realise that the die wasn't really part of several flashy dice, but actually a small bomb. Fortunately for him, it didn't go off. However, it produced a small slip of paper, which Dark Matter took out.  
"I'd better read this," he said, "as I am a strange and evil ball of mysterious energy. And a really, really strange one. And mysterious. And strange."  
He read:  
There is a minor problem involving the negomisation. Do not panic. Do not shmanicallate, and above all do not create random words.  
Press '1' to invade a planet. If you would like ice cream, I suggest you try invading a strange planet called "Earth". It contains-  
"ICE CREAM?" shouted Dark Matter. He rolled the die again.  
Why not a planet called 'Pop Star?' It's shaped like a star.  
"I'm a sucker for star-shaped stuff," reflected Dark Matter cheerily. "I'll invade that planet, then."

_Meanwhile… back on Pop Star… the place where we were a moment ago…_  
"I wonder what things are like on Rock Star?" wondered Kirby.

_Meanwhile… on Rock Star…  
_"Nruff!" said the Nruff.

_Meanwhile… back on Pop Star… the place where we were a moment ago…  
_"I wonder how else things are on Rock Star?" wondered Kirby.

_Meanwhile… on Rock Star…_  
"I am a pyramid," said a pyramid. "I shall appear again later in this story. For now, though, rest assured that I am a very pyramidal pyramid. A _very_ pyramidal pyramid."

_Meanwhile… back on Pop Star… the place where we were a moment ago…_  
"Is this getting annoying?" said Kirby.  
"Yesh," said Gooey.  
"In that case, we'd better go fishing," said Kirby.  
"While completely irrelevant," said Whispy Woods, "I'll endorse the action anyway. What the hey-?"

Dark Matter swooped down and headed straight for the castle of King Dedede, ruler of Dreamland (there's a joke in there somewhere).  
"Hello," said King Dedede, who was sitting on his throne. "What do you want?"  
"I'd like to take over the world," said Dark Matter.  
"Fine by me," said Dedede, reaching over for a glass of lemonade.  
But before Dedede could reach the lemonade – he was possessed by Dark Matter! I bet you never saw that one coming! How clever am I?

"Fishing ish fun," said Gooey.  
"Yes," said Kirby.  
Silence.

Dark Matter zoomed around the planet, growing in size as if he had consumed an extra-large serving of Waddle-Dee-in-a-jar.  
"YES! YES! I AM POWERFUL AGAIN!" he screamed in delight and capitals.  
Possessing everyone who happened to come near, Dark Matter had soon possessed every person on the planet of Pop Star except for Kirby and Gooey. (Yes, I _know_ about the animal friends; I'm coming to that! Sheesh. And I bet my non-imaginary readers will be worse.)  
"Look," said Kirby, pointing to the sky. "A big, black-ish cloud."  
"Yesh," said Gooey, choking on a fish. "Ow!"  
"Hi," said Dark Matter, gazing down at them. "I should possess you, but I won't, as I have poor judgement, and also because you're currently sitting in a plot hole."  
"That explains the talking turnips," said Kirby.  
"Not true!" said Grill.  
Kirby stepped out of the plot hole, dragging Gooey with him. "So you won't possess us?"  
"No."  
"Promise?"  
"Of course," said Dark Matter, being the gentleman he was. "Would I ever go back on my word?"  
"Yes?" said Kirby.  
"Curses! How did he know?" Dark Matter zoomed around furiously. "Okay, I'll never, ever, possess you for the duration of my stay here. Deal?"  
"Yep," said Kirby.  
"_It can't be that bad,_" thought Dark Matter. "_It's not like he's that Meta Knight dude, or that Kirby-_"  
"By the way, my name's Kirby!"  
Dark Matter said a… very **nice** word.


	2. The Big Decision

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I am not materially profiting from using any of the copyrighted characters in this story in any way. But I have satisfaction! And ego boost! You can't sue me for that! Ha!

**_The Big Decision_**

"So," concluded Kirby. "We have a choice. We can either save the world as we know it, or we can not save the world as we know it."  
"Yesh," said Gooey.  
"So which do we do?" said Kirby.  
"If we saves the worldh, ish there more Wadl D?"  
"Yes, Gooey."  
"Oh, let's saves the world, tehn!"  
So our heroes set off across Green Greens to save the world.

A quick word: Gooey is a blue blob. Like Kirby, he has a impossibly large stomach and an appetite to match, but alas!- Gooey doesn't suck. Rather, he grabs things with his long red tongue. This sounds annoying.  
"Stop making that sound!" said Kirby, as Gooey attempted to eat every blade of grass he saw. Just to be safe, Kirby inhaled all the grass.  
"Aw…" said Gooey.  
A Waddle Dee walked in front of Kirby, who grabbed it.  
"I want!" said Gooey.  
Kirby inhaled Gooey to shut him up, and walked along a bit further.  
"Mmph!" said Gooey. "Lemmeoutsch!"  
"Okay," said Kirby, spitting Gooey out, crushing a Waddle Dee in the process.  
"Noooo!" screamed Gooey. "You schwasted a Waddl Di!"  
"Hey," said Kirby. "It's a Sir Kibble!"  
"Soa?"  
"So I can eat it to copy its powers!"  
"Y?"  
"Because I can use the Cutter power to throw little boomerangs at Waddle Dees!"  
"NOOO! DONT WAIST WADL DEEEES!" screamed Gooey, diving onto Kirby. "WEE MUSKT EET TEHM AL!"  
Kirby and Gooey rolled on the ground, fighting for control, until Kirby managed to kick Gooey away and inhale the Sir Kibble.  
"AUGH!" screamed Gooey, collapsing to the ground in a faint.

Somewhere else in Dreamland, Rick the hamster was sitting in the small makeshift hut he called home.  
"Rick!" shouted his mother. "Rick, stop pretending you're capable of making your own decisions! You know perfectly well that I _own_ you!"  
"You _what_?"  
"I have the legal deeds to prove it, too,"  
"But I'm your _son_! You can't – it's not possible -"  
"Yes, it is. Now hurry up, Rick, and clean the sitting room."  
"We don't have a sitting room!"  
"Are you challenging my unchallenged authority that needs no challenging and that should not be challenged?"  
Rick got up. "I'm running from home again, ma."  
"Not unless I say so! It's not like you've anything to do out there! Why don't you have fun playing dress-up with your dear mother?"  
"I don't do drag!" moaned Rick, heading for the door. To himself, he muttered, "Why can't something exciting happen so that I can get away? Like… I don't know… maybe if I could get Kirby to call me over… or maybe if someone could help me fake my death… I'd even welcome someone destroying the _world_ if I could get out of here for a week or two!"  
Nago the cat burst through the door. "Rick! Rick! A mysterious force called Dark Matter is possessing everyone and destroying the universe!"  
"SCORE!" shouted Rick, leaping in the air.  
"Uh… Rick?" said Nago. "Why are you wearing a wedding dress?"  
Rick turned around. "Mam!" he called. "Did _you_ slip that on me while I was havin' a nap?"  
"You looked so sweet in it, dear…"  
"I'm MALE!" shouted Rick, ripping off the dress. "Quick, Nago. I want out. I _need_ out."  
"Let's go!" said Nago.  
"Not so fast!" shouted Rick's mother from behind him.  
"RUN!" screamed Rick.  
They ran.

"Ooh, a tulip!" said Kirby. "Let's step on it!"  
"Oah, o-KEI," said Gooey.  
"No!" shouted the tulip. "Please don't step on me!"  
"Right," said Kirby. "And why should I listen to you?"  
"Because you should."  
"I can't beat that logic," said Kirby.  
"Yesh you cansch," said Gooey, eating himself.  
The tulip hesitated. "Uh… you know that giant evil dark cloud thing?"  
"Yeah…" said Kirby.  
"Well, we have a magic heart star which will protect you from it…"  
"Ooh!" said Kirby. "So if we step on you, you give to us?"  
"NO! Don't step on me or any of my friends, and then we'll give it to you."  
"Fair enough," said Kirby. "I guess I'll just have to step on my very good friend Gooey instead, then."  
"NOO!" shouted Gooey. He ran. Kirby gave chase.

"That's it!" shouted Rick's mother. "I'm making you wear the one-piece suit when I catch you!"  
"Ooh," said Nago, slowing down.  
"And your friend can watch!"  
"Oh," said Nago, speeding up.

Kirby and Gooey finally reached the edge of the very first field in Green Greens. Exhausted, they stopped to rest.  
"That was unfair," said Kirby. "Why do three million tulips have to make a straight line?"  
"U culd hav floetd O-vr," said Gooey.  
"Quiet, you," said Kirby. "Let's rest for a while."  
They rested for a while…


	3. Friends and Enemies

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged… 

**_Friends and Enemies_**

Rick and Nago were panting heavily – why wasn't Rick's mum stopping? Surely _she_ was at least as tired as them. But no, she continued her relentless pursuit of Rick. "Come back here, SON!" she screamed. "You are in such trouble, young man…"  
Rick threw a handful of insults over his shoulder as he ran.  
The insults landed on the ground and burrowed in, eventually creating a large insult-based underground community, which was very prosperous and had many business contractors interested in investing in the wondrous insults.  
As a matter of fact, these insults eventually got movie licensing rights, and they quickly used those rights to create an absolute blockbuster (if somewhat insulting) movie. What's more, they – what? The story? Oh, yeah…  
"Look ahead!" shouted Nago. "A field full of tulips! We can take cover there!" They made off in that direction as quickly as possible.

"Wee r in A feeld ov tuolipz," said Gooey. "i fellt eye hadd 2 sei taht."  
"Yes," said Kirby. "I wonder if anyone is _running_ towards the field of tulips which we are in at the present?"  
"Sh!" said a tulip. "You'll attract Nruffs, and those things just _love_ to squash us! Remember the deal? You let us live; we give you a star to hurt Dark Matter with!" It huffed indignantly.

Rick and Nago raced through the field, avoiding tulips (they were worried that Rick's mother would become even more enraged if they hurt one).  
"Look!" said Nago, pointing. "A pink blob and a blue blob strangely reminiscent of Dark Matter!"  
"Blue blob?" said Rick. "Isn't there a Goo or someone?"  
"Yeah," said Nago, triple jumping to avoid a boulder Rick's mum had thrown at him.  
"And pink… Kirby!" Rick smiled for the first time. "If we can get to him, he'll surely help us get away from my mam!"  
"Mam?" said Nago.  
"Mother."  
"Oh."  
They kept on running.

"OOH a HAM (ster)" said Gooey, pointing with his tongue.  
"Mm," nodded Kirby in agreement. "Say, that panicking hamster sure looks familiar – isn't he from our end of the Greens?"  
Gooey considered, and nodded. "Quite posshiblee."  
"Oh, of course! Rick! We haven't talked for a few weeks, but I remember…" Kirby thought back to the time when he, Rick, and a couple of others had helped to effectively save Pop Star. Good times.  
"ARGH!" screamed Rick, nearing them. Kirby opened his mouth and inhaled.  
Nago, catching up, stared in shock. "Uh… Kirby? Shouldn't you have inhaled our pursuer?"  
Kirby spat Rick out at Rick's mum, sending her flying. "I'm sorry… what?"  
"Never mind," said Nago.  
"You saved us!" said Rick the hamster. "Kirby! It's so good to see you again!"  
"Yeah," said Kirby, chewing on Gooey's tongue. "What brings you here?"  
"Ouwch," said Gooey.  
"Well," said Nago, "I was bored, so I called for Rick and asked him if going on a happy little adventure to save Pop Star, again, would be any good."  
"Oh," said Kirby. "That wasn't a very smart move, was it?"  
Nago glanced at Rick's mum, who was still flying backwards, now some few kilometres away (and considering how small they all are, that's quite a bit – possibly even longer than Gooey's tongue's maximum reach!), and then said, "Yeah, but it was worth it, wasn't it? We've freed Rick!"  
"She'll be back," said Rick. "You know her…"  
"Yeah, we know her," said Kirby and Nago.  
"Kan ovf wurms!" said Gooey, eating one.

Meanwhile, a small green bird by the name of Pitch was running for his life from the most deadly enemies imaginable – Waddle Dees! Obviously, I'm being extremely sincere here! What could be worse than being attacked by Waddle Dees? What am I saying about Pitch by stating this? Is this an overused metaphorical device, or is Pitch just cowardly? Or is Pitch being extremely sensible because he seriously doesn't stand a chance against… _two_ Waddle Dees, both of whom are rather panicked?  
It matters not, as, almost immediately, the two Waddle Dees made physical contact with each other and thus popped.  
"Thank goodness," sighed Pitch in relief.  
"Hello, Pitch," said Coo the owl, who was very wise, gliding onto a nearby tree branch. "What brings you here?"  
"I was attacked by Waddle Dees!" said Pitch.  
Coo suppressed a laugh. "Oh, of course, Pitch. Who but you…?"  
Pitch glared angrily. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
"That you're extremely timid and can't put up a fight, even against a Waddle Dee?" suggested Coo, smiling.  
"It was _two_ Waddle Dees, Coo! _Two!_" Pitch ruffled his wings importantly.  
"'_Oh, two_," said Coo. "Well then, I suppose _that_'s okay, then…" Again fighting the urge to laugh, Coo took off.  
Pitch stared after him, still fuming. Then, he came to a decision. Flapping his wings, he soon caught up with Coo in midair.  
"Hi, again," said Coo, who was very wise, and who seemed to have gotten over the incident.  
"Coo," said Pitch, "is there any way I can prove to you that I'm a useful friend to have?"  
"No," said Coo, "because you simply _aren't_ useful. But you could join me on a little trip I plan on taking. We might need you as bait."  
"_We_?" squawked Pitch. "Who else? And what trip is this exactly?"  
"Kirby," began Coo, who was very wise (I really need to constantly remind you; I really do), "is a friend of mine. I remember that a few months back, I helped him save Pop Star from certain destruction."  
"I remember," said Pitch longingly. "You and Kirby and Kine and stupid little Rick…" He flapped his wings a bit faster so that he could keep up.  
"Right. Rick is such a mummy's boy…" Coo chuckled, because the fact that Coo had used a noun with adjectives as an abstract noun and/or adjective was actually very, very funny. Everyone else just happened to be too stupid to get the joke.  
A brief silence followed, punctuated only by Pitch flying into a tree.  
Coo continued, "Watch the tree. Anyway, an evil being now known as 'Dark Matter' has arrived on Pop Star, possessing just about everyone and everything. It's as if nobody can stop him at all."  
"Well, why hasn't he possessed _us_?" said Pitch, confused by this.  
"Quiet, you," said Coo.  
"Oh, sure, ignore the plot inconsistency," said Pitch.  
"I _am_ capable of beating you in a fight," said Coo.  
"Point taken," said Pitch, swerving to avoid a **cloud** (if he had hit it, he probably would have died).  
"Quiet, you," said Coo, who was very wise.


	4. The Greenest of the Green

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_The Greenest of the Green_**

…and so Kirby and Gooey, along with Rick and Nago, made their way across Green Greens, taking care to avoid stepping on any of the (highly cute) talking tulips who were taking residence in the giant field which they were now nearing the end of.  
"We're nearing the end of the field," said Nago, repeating what I just wrote.  
"Yeah," said Kirby.  
"…so why aren't we stepping on these tulips of yours?" said Rick.  
"They're not my tulips," said Kirby, (adding "yet" under his breath,) "they told me that they'd give us a magical Heart Star to defeat Dark Matter with if I was nice to them, and I thought, why not?"  
"Yesh," lisped Gooey.  
"Hey," said a tulip. "You got through the field without killing us! Thank you all so much. You've kept to your side of the bargain, so here's… a heart star!"  
"But-" began Rick.  
"But what?"  
"But what the heck is a heart star?"  
"Good question," said the tulip. "I was just told to say that."  
Rick frowned. "Who told you to say that?"  
"Uh… the author? I don't know; I'm going."  
And the tulip left. How exactly it did that remains a mystery to this day, as the general view is that flowers which are _rooted to the ground_ can't walk.  
"That was… interesting," began Kirby.  
"What the heck happened there?" said Rick.  
"I liked that part too." Kirby then ate a Waddle Dee. This was because Kirby enjoyed eating Waddle Dees.

"That's it!" said Coo. "Pitch, you're just weighing me down."  
"I'm not even _touching_ you!" said Pitch angrily.  
"METAPHORICALLY, OKAY?" said Coo. "Oh, for heaven's sake, what did I do to deserve this?"  
"Hey," said Pitch, "if you want me to go, just say so."  
"Okay," said Coo, "I want you to go."  
"No!" said Pitch. "You weren't supposed to say that! My self-sacrificing attitude was supposed to make you appreciate me!"  
Coo smiled. "Nice try. Maybe flying isn't your forte."  
"I'm a _bird_, Coo! A bird! My body is made to fly!"  
"Possibly," said Coo. "Got to go." And with that, he was off.  
"Can't fly," muttered Pitch. "I'll show him."  
Pitch tripped on a cold air current and crashed into a river some distance below.

"So what do _you_ think it does, then?" said Rick.  
"No idea," said Nago. "Maybe… maybe it embodies-"  
"Heart schtarryness?" suggested Gooey.  
Nago frowned. "I was going to suggest it embodies love and peace and all that sentimental trash which represents everything Dark Matter stands against, but of course, Gooey has to be right! _Heart-starryness!_ What on earth was _I_ thinking?"  
"Yeay! I winsch!"  
"That was sarcasm," said Kirby.  
"Aw," said Gooey.  
"I say Nago's right," said Rick.  
"Does it really matter?" said Kirby. "I'm hungry. Let's stop at Kawasaki's place."  
Rick said, "Wouldn't Kawasaki also be possessed by evil force-"  
"SHUT UP!" said Kirby, crying.

Pitch climbed out of the river and found Kine the fish basking in the sun.  
"Hey, Kine," said Pitch. "Trying to bake yourself or something?"  
"And I suppose you have a death wish," said Kine amiably. "Birds don't swim, Pitch. On the other hand, birds can fly at the least-"  
"-I can fly!" said Pitch indignantly.  
"Sure you can," said Kine. "I'm _sure_ you can, Pitch." He smiled. "Hey, wanna go and save the planet from that weird being of darkness that's arrived?"  
"I _was_ doing that until Coo bumped me off!" said Pitch.  
"Was it because you couldn't _fly_?" said Kine.  
"NO! It was because I had… er… I had issues!"  
"Oh, naturally," said Kine.  
"There's no way I'm going on a journey with you, Kine."  
"That's fine; I was going to meet up with Coo downstream anyway. Why don't you go with Chuchu to our friend Kirby?"  
"Chuchu?" said Pitch, aghast. "Isn't she that bipolar psychotic and highly volatile-"  
"Maybe," said Kine. "She's right behind you."  
Pitch gulped. "I'm going to wake up in medical care, am I not?"  
Pitch remembered Chuchu – that octopus was all sweet on the outside, but, well, it _was_ Chuchu.  
He turned around to see her smiling, with about three fists raised.  
"I didn't see anything," said Kine, rolling back into the river and disappearing into the distance.  
Chuchu's smile widened.

"Hark!" said Nago. "Do I hear a bird scream?"  
"Not Coo!" said Rick. "Has Dark Matter gotten to him, too?"  
"Actually, it sounded like the scream of an ugly little bird."  
"Oh, Pitch," said Kirby. "Then it doesn't really matter, does it? It's not like he could beat us in a fight, even when possessed by Dark Matter…"  
They headed towards the source of the noise anyway, because it was just off the beaten path.

"Please let me go…" murmured Pitch. "What did I do to deserve this?"  
"Aside from the obvious?" said Chuchu, wiping a bit of blood off her ribbon (though one wonders why, considering that it was red, which also makes one wonder why it was red).  
"Actually," said Pitch, "I- someone's coming!"  
Chuchu sighed, and tossed Pitch casually ten times his height along the path.  
Rick and Kirby rounded the corner first.  
"Oh, my!" said Rick. "What happened to Pitch?"  
"I don't know," said Chuchu, sobbing. "It all happened so fast… we were just talking… and then _it_ came…"  
"That's horrible," said Nago, catching up. "You didn't see who did it?"  
"Maybe it was Dark Matter," said Chuchu, trying to slow her panicked breathing. "This is horrible… I'm scarred for life…"  
"Not true," said Pitch weakly. "Chuchu beat-"  
Chuchu stepped on Pitch's beak. "Oh… poor Pitch… I wonder if he can tell us who beat him up… but what if that nasty person beats him up some more because he told?"  
Pitch got the point and stopped squirming.  
"Well," said Rick, not noticing Nago's suspicious look, "at least it wasn't _you_ who beat him up, eh, Chuchu?"  
"Yeah…" said Chuchu. "Wasn't… me…"

They walked together through the many greens of Green Greens, which made Rick green with envy for Pitch who was so green and blended in so well with the greenest of the green. There. I got that over with. Anyhow:  
"Hey!" said Chuchu. "A door leading to the middle of nowhere!"  
"We'd better not go in," said Rick, "it might not be safe."  
"True," said Chuchu, raising a fist.  
When they entered, they found themselves in a secluded little area with what looked like a green… uh… thing inside.  
"Ooh," said Gooey, "a grweeen thingsch."  
"Everyone hates me," said the green… thing.  
"Shut up!" said Chuchu, slapping the green… thing.  
"Someone touched me! I feel loved…" the green… thing said, swooning on the spot.  
"What the heck ish it?" said Gooey.  
"This is stupid," said Rick, "let's go."  
"Wait…" said the green… thing. "Have this… yellow… thing… as a token of my feeling loved…"  
"Is that a star heart?" said Nago.  
"Don't be stupid, it's a heart star," said Kirby, reaching for it.  
"NO!" said Gooey. "WE NEEDS teh WADL D's?"  
While no-one else was looking, Chuchu tied Gooey's tongue into a pretty bow.  
"Owch."


	5. Gooey and the Gordos

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Gooey and the Gordos_**

…after a healthy night's rest, the six of them set out again, crossing further through Green Greens.  
"You know," said Chuchu, "that in a day or two we'll be at the Whispy Woods."  
"Yes, we know," squawked Pitch, "no need to state the obvious, Chuchu."  
Chuchu glared. Pitch gulped.  
Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, while nobody was looking, a mysterious dark force threw Pitch at a tree, and then did the same to Gooey because she – sorry, _it_ – was bored.  
"Well," said Kirby, "I guess we should try finding somewhere where we can sit down and eat these chocolate frogs."  
"What chocolate frogs?" said Nago.  
"Uh… I kind of stole some from a congregation of Scarfies last night."  
"Idiot!" said Pitch. "Don't you remember how dangerous it is to anger Scarfies?"  
"Uh… no?" said Kirby.  
"I swear that you're going to get us all killed one of these days," said Coo rather prophetically.  
"Coo!" said everyone else, turning around. "What're you doing here?"  
"I believe," said Coo, "that I am doing the exact same thing you six are doing: trying to save the world."  
"_You_," said Pitch menacingly. Coo took no notice, because an angry Pitch was only slightly less dangerous than a completely freaked Waddle Dee.  
"Yes," said Coo, "I'm quite glad to see you all again. It's been a while, hasn't it?-" and at this point he began patronising them all with nicknames- "So, how are all of you, Kirby, Kirby-wannabe, Son of Hamster, Little Bird, Kitty Kat and Homicidal Maniac?"  
"What about me?" said Chuchu.  
"You're the homicidal maniac," explained Coo.  
"Yay!" said Chuchu, smiling brightly. "I have an affectionate nickname!"  
"Yes," said Coo. "Very affectionate. Please don't kill me."  
They all smiled and talked delightedly now that all of them were united again. Well, almost all of them.  
"Someone's missing," said Pitch. "Where's that stupid fish?"  
"Uh, Kine is a bit of a slow walker," said Coo, "so he's probably still on the riverbank. Let's go there now."  
"You do that," said Kirby. "Gooey, let's go get some Waddle Dees in that field yonder. I need a break."

Score! I used 'yonder' in a story!

"Hey," said Kine. "Coo, I'm still really mad at you for not giving me directions. I was going _upstream_ for about two ho-"  
"HOW LOVELY TO SEE YOU," said Coo loudly, "if you're wondering, Kine, Kirby and Gooey went off to eat."  
"Typical," yawned Nago, stretching his arms and accidentally scratching Chuchu.  
Chuchu spun around to look at Nago. "What was that for?" she hissed.  
"Uh, it was Rick," said Nago.

Kirby and Gooey could hear Rick screaming in the distance, but they ignored that. The fields of Waddle Dees were right ahead!  
"foo**DS**," sighed Gooey.  
"It's food, singular," said Kirby. "You need to pronounce wor**DS** properly. So, Gooey, when we get there, would you prefer the umbrella Waddle **D**ee**S** or the plain ones?"  
"I **D**ont**S**ch kno," said Gooey. "Letsch share!"  
"Okay!" said Kirby.  
"Hey, hey, hey," said a voice from behind them. "Who might you two folks be?"  
"OOH," said Gooey, "R u teh wadl deez?"  
"Ssh," said Kirby. Then, louder, "Hi, I'm Kirby, Star Warrior, and this is my friend Gooey, who is, um, currently serving as a fellow adventurer and/or sidekick. We're kind of going to get some food, because we like food, and, well, yeah. Who are you?"  
The mysterious speaker (who, I must stress, wasn't nearly as strange or mysterious as Dark Matter) said, "Me? Oh, just a unorthodox little farmer, me."  
"Oh, okay," said Kirby. "Do farmers wear silly little caps?"  
"This one does," said the farmer, smiling heartily. "I'm not having much luck, though."  
"What do you farm?" said Kirby. "Nruffs? Talking turnips? Scarfies?"  
"Gordos," said the little blue farmer in a red cap.  
"Ouch," said Kirby.  
"Yeah. Apparently there isn't a consumer need for these things. So, I kind of gave up selling them and taught them to do tricks!"  
"You," said Kirby, "taught _Gordos_ to do tricks?"  
"Yep. Now I want to know a bit more about you. I've heard the name Kirby before, and if you're anything like what they say, you'll probably be wanting this strange little starry thing."  
"A heartsch star!" said Gooey, who wasn't quite as stupid as he looked. Not quite.  
"Okay. I'll give it to you, but first I want to show you this fun game I came up with involving Gordos."  
Kirby and Gooey glanced at each other and shrugged. "Okay."  
"It's quite simple, really," said the farmer. "I'm going to throw something through the air, and you have to tell me what it is."  
Kirby and Gooey nodded.  
The farmer threw something through the air extremely quickly. "Okay!" he said, "what was that?"  
"Was it a WADL D?" asked Gooey.  
Kirby shrugged. "Seeing as you just plucked it out from a box labelled 'Gordos', I'm guessing that was a Gordo."  
"Cor-rect!" said the farmer guy. "Okay, what's this?" He grabbed another Gordo and threw it up into the air. It landed on the ground right in front of them.  
"Is it a Gordo?" said Kirby.  
"No, 'tis Waddddddle Dee!" said Gooey.  
"Yes, it's a Gordo," said the guy.  
"NOOO! WANT WADDLE DEEEEES!" said Gooey.  
The little blue farmer turned a deep shade of purple. "Okay… what's this?" He threw a Gordo at Gooey's left eye.  
"Uh… Waddle Dee?" said Gooey.  
"Ignore him," said Kirby, "he's just a little bit single-minded. Here, have some stars."  
The farmer guy shrugged and tossed the heart star to Kirby. "Well, I'd question your decision to have him help save the world, but good luck to you both anyway!"  
"Wait… is it a Gordo in mi IYE?" said Gooey.  
Kirby forcefully dragged him away.

When they returned, Kirby found that all six of his animal friends had set up a small camp to spend the night in. Sighing in content, he joined them around the campfire.  
They roasted marshmallows on sticks, though Chuchu accidentally set Pitch on fire after he commented on her colour.  
And everything was peaceful…


	6. Midnight Marauding

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Midnight Marauding_**

Kirby was woken by someone whispering "ssh".  
His initial reaction was that the Forgotten Ancients were after him again for desecrating the image of the Lollipops of Time, but fortunately, it was only Kine.  
"Oh, it's only you," said Kirby.  
"Yes," said Kine, "it's only me."  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
"Uh, shall we go for a walk?" said Kirby.  
"I'm not very good at walking," said Kine.  
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm a fish."  
"Oh." Kirby frowned. "Can't fish walk?"  
"Not very well. In fact, I'm not even sure if I can breathe up here."  
"If you can't breathe, then why-"  
"Let's go for a walk, shall we?"  
Kirby nodded and got off his seat (Pitch). "Where do we go?"  
"I found a cosy little cave upstream; we could try there."  
Kirby nodded; they went.

Inside the cave, it was dark. This might have been because it was night, or perhaps because they were in a _cave_.  
"It's dark," said Kirby.  
"Duh yes," said Kine sarcastically.  
"Ooh!" said Kirby. "A breakable block leading to the pits of nowhere! Let's break it!"  
Kine realised that any resistance would be futile (Kirby was a tad hyperactive, after all) so he wisely avoided any argument. By agreeing. All Kine's fault.  
They burrowed deeper into the well-like place, and there they found a giant pool.  
"Let's get in," said Kine.  
"But I'm too tired to swim," said Kirby. "After all, it is the middle of the night and I probably should be sleeping right now."  
"Yes, I do suppose I should sleep as well," said Kine. (Notice how I constantly restate that? Guess when I wrote this chapter. Daytime! Wasn't that obvious?)  
They walked in silence for a while.  
"Wait…" said Kirby. "Fish don't sleep!"  
"Yes they do," said Kine, bewildered.  
"No, they do not," said Kirby.  
"Uh, I'm a fish, I think I'd know better than you, Kirby," said Kine.  
"No fair," said Kirby, realising that Kine had actually found a completely valid point. Kirby did not like this because it meant that Kine did sleep, which meant… hmm… somehow related to Kirby's plans to eat civilisation…  
Walking along, the two of them then saw something very curious indeed.  
"The cavern ahead is glowing," said Kine.  
"I think that's kind of obvious," said Kirby.  
"Yeah, but you still fall for obvious tricks."  
"Oh, yeah?" said Kirby.  
"Your laces are undone."  
"NOOOO!" screamed Kirby, running around in circles in absolute utter sheer, well, very panicky panic.  
The walls of the cave rumbled!  
"Not good," said Kine.  
Kirby spun around to see a walking flame. "Oh, one of those cute things," he said. "Hi, little Bobo thing!"  
It looked at them angrily.  
"Kirby…" said Kine warningly.  
"What?" said Kirby. "They're tiny, they can't hurt you badly."  
"Kirby, that thing is **eight times** your size!"  
"Oh," said Kirby, noticing. "Well, so it is. Funny… I seem to remember that Bobos were always about my side. They're so cute, don't you think?" He looked at the giant flaming Bobo and said, "you're cute, aren't you? _Aren't you_, little cutie-wutie? Oh yes you are, oh, yes you are!"  
"KIRBY!" shouted Kine, diving at Kirby and knocking him out of the way as the Bobo zoomed through the air, burning right through the spot where Kirby had been standing only moments before!  
"Whoops," said Kirby. "It's not very friendly, is it?"  
"No, I- AUGH!" Kine jumped as the Bobo zoomed past him and crashed into a wall. Large balls of fire went flying past.  
Kirby inhaled one. "Mm," he said. "Tastes like Waddle Dee."  
"Kirby, why don't you spit it out at the Bobo?" suggested Kine as the Bobo went zooming around at amazing speeds.  
"But it tastes so nice!" moaned Kirby.  
Kine attempted a Heimlich and managed to get Kirby to spit the ball of fire at the giant Bobo.  
"Ha!" said Kirby. "Not so tough after all, eh?"  
Kine silently motioned, trying to point out that the giant Bobo was completely unfazed.  
"Bobo?" said Kirby, dancing around in circles. "More like _Boboo_!" he sneered, pointing and laughing at the giant Bobo.  
"That's not even funny," said Kine.  
The Bobo, on the other hand, thought it was extremely funny, and started rolling on the floor laughing.  
It kept on laughing.  
It continued to keep on laughing.  
It did not cease to continue to keep on laughing.  
"Let's go before it remembers that we were fighting," suggested Kine.

A smaller cavern was where they found it. It was an ugly brown thing. Kirby took it because he thought it might taste nice with marshmallows, but as he did, something strange happened.  
A white aura glowed over the area, followed by a soothing feeling of utter serenity. Kirby and Kine closed their eyes and sighed, relaxing in the feeling of warmth.  
"Wow," said Kine. "What was that?"  
"It felt like touching a heart star," said Kirby.  
Kine gasped. "But that can only mean-"  
"-that the brown monkey _is_ a heart star!"  
"No, it-"  
Kirby ignored Kine and instead started to continually pound the monkey against the ground. "Turn into a star, curse you!" he shouted.  
"Uh, hello?" said a voice.  
Kirby and Kine wheeled around to find a strange creature which looked a bit like the monkey. "Are you food?" said Kirby.  
"My monkey!" said the thing.  
"Wait," said Kine, "you can own animals now? That's disgusting! Slavery!"  
A Heart Star floated out of the strange red creature. "Monkey man!" she cried.  
"…on the other hand, if animal captivity helps us defeat Dark Matter, I'm fine with that," said Kine, grabbing the Heart Star.  
Kirby smiled because he had just eaten Kine and went back to camp.  
Unfortunately, Kine came free in the process, but Kirby made up for it by eating lots of other stuff.  
Then he slept.


	7. Something Fishy

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Something Fishy_**

"Wake up," said Rick.  
"Wha-?" said Kirby.  
"Wake up; we're going," repeated Rick.  
"You'll never take me alive," said Kirby, rolling over.

None of the others understood why Kirby and Kine were so groggy (they had to drag the two of them along with them).  
Nago suggested that perhaps they had eaten too many broken shards of glass the night before, but that was ridiculous, because there weren't any broken shards of glass where they had set up camp the night before.  
Chuchu thought that perhaps Kirby and Kine were sleepy because they were being possessed by Dark Matter. She used this as a legitimate excuse to beat them up somewhat.  
"OW!" said Kine, waking up with a jerk.  
"Morning," said Chuchu brightly. "Are you still possessed?"  
"I was never possessed!" said Kine.  
"_Sure_," said Chuchu in a sweet but vaguely threatening voice, "of course you were possessed… why else would I have hit you?"  
Pitch opened his mouth to answer, but was crushed by a grain of sand before he could say anything.  
"Is Pitch really dead this time?" said Chuchu.  
Everyone cheered.  
"Help me!" said Pitch, struggling under the weight of the grain of sand.  
Everyone sighed, disappointed.

Pitch was still alive, and of course, they were all deeply troubled.  
Nonetheless, they trekked on, casting aside their pains and troubles and refusing to accept the slings and arrows of misfortune, instead, they took a stand and strode on to, by their action, bring down Dark Matter.  
Their next major problem was when they reached a large machine which comprised of lots of spinning logs – logs the size of Kirby's average meal!  
"What is this?" said Kine, "the exercise machine of death?"  
"The Gordos and Ticks hovering ominously there are _not_ helping me concentrate," said Rick. "Okay. I'll take this at a run…"  
Screaming wildly, Rick made a mad dash for the log contraption, and jumped on at full pelt. He then slipped off and crashed into a large pit full of Gordos, and screamed a bit.  
"Well, I'm flying!" squawked Pitch, who flapped his way above the whole mess, lasting about three seconds before he crashed into his right wing.  
"You know, we could just go around," suggested Kine. He and Chuchu did that.  
"Uh… Gooey, why don't you jump into some Ticks?" said Chuchu sweetly as they went.  
"Aw. Oo-K!" said Gooey with his usual grace. He plodded over to a Tick and looked at it. "Ooh. Ur so kiut. U wuldnt hurt mi, wuld u?"  
As if in response, the Tick did an extremely cute face and smiled at Gooey.  
"Good Tick," said Gooey, stepping onto its head. "Wee! Tihs iz fun!"  
The Tick smiled evilly.

When they were all on the other side, Coo half-heartedly treated Gooey's wounds. "How on Pop Star did you decide to do that?" he wondered.  
"He probably was being an idiot as usual," said Chuchu loudly, arousing everyone's suspicions. Of course, nobody spoke out, because Chuchu was an excellent puncher.  
"Oh, _hello there_!" trilled a voice from behind a cluster of trees.  
"What? What's that?" said Kirby, snapping awake.  
"It had better not be my mother…" said Rick.  
"Oh, please, no," said Kine. "Ugh…"  
A large pink fish trotted into view. "Oh _Ki-ine_," she sang, "I haven't seen you for the _longest time in ever, like… ever_!"  
Kine sighed in resignation. "Please excuse me for a moment," he said. He left them, though as the two fish went (to, presumably, catch up with each other) the other seven could hear lots of cooing. "Oh, Kine, my _favourite person in the whole wide world! We're going to be so happy and maybe we'll have a family and I'll make cupcakes for everyone and…_"  
"I am so glad that wasn't me," said Nago.  
"Seconded," said Kirby.  
"Thirded," said Gooey.  
"That's not a word."  
"Seriously," said Chuchu, interrupting their enlightened conversation, "what are Kine and that pink ditz doing?"

"…and then we'll have a tropical holiday and we'll all be _so happy_ and everything will be so fine and then…"  
Kine beat his head against a rock to make the pain stop.

"Hey," said Kirby, "there are lots of trees here."  
"We're in the middle of the Woods," said Coo.  
"Oh, are we?" said Kirby absent-mindedly.  
"Yes," said Coo.  
"So then **what in the name of all that is sweet and salty is that green floating triangle doing here**?" shrieked Kirby.  
"Oo, trYangl," said Gooey. He grabbed it with his tongue.  
For reasons that may never be known, a short jingle suddenly resounded from a distant corner of the woods.  
"Oh, dear," said Coo, "this looks like something that somebody has lost."  
"Hey!" shouted someone.  
They all turned to find a depressed clown running towards them. "Hey, you! Give me my juggling balls back!"  
"That's not a ball," said Pitch observantly, "that's a triangle."  
The clown broke down into tears.  
"Well," said Chuchu slowly, "I guess you'll be wanting this." Silently, she laid down a large rectangular ball and a spherical cube in front of the clown.  
"Oh – my juggling shapes!" exclaimed the clown. "Thank you… oh, here, have this completely irrelevant Heart Star as the sole token of my gratitude…"  
Humming, he wandered off into the woods.  
"That's just disturbing," said Nago.  
"Seconded," said Kirby.  
"Wait…" said Rick. "Chuchu, did you just act _compassionately_?"  
Chuchu declined comment, instead bashing Rick's skull in with the Heart Star.

"…and then we'll be famous and everyone will want to here such a wonderful story about our happy lives…"  
"I HATE YOU!" shouted Kine.  
"Oh. I – I – I'm sorry…" the pink fish said, looking at the ground forlornly. Then her smile grew back. "So maybe we can reconcile and then become the _best_ of friends and then we'll…"

Poor Kine.


	8. Dark Heart of the Woods

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Dark Heart of the Woods_**

"So dark here," said Pitch. "So cold, too."  
"Shut up," said Coo, throwing a stick at Pitch.  
"ARGH!" yelled Pitch. "THE PAIN!"  
"Hmm…" said Kirby, as they moved deeper in. "We're here to see Whispy, right?"  
The others nodded. Whispy Woods was the resident anthropomorphic tree of Green Greens, and he was quite a useful and wise friend.  
"We should talk to him to see if he knows what to do," said Rick. "He's always level-headed in times of crisis."  
"Actually," said Kirby, "I seem to recall that whenever crisis strikes, he always gets possessed and/or coerced into fighting us!"  
"So…?" said Rick.  
"So he could be possessed and evil again!" said Kirby.  
"Ridiculous," said Coo, "that's just a wild and unfounded guess."  
"So the fact that it's dark and cold here doesn't count?" said Kirby.  
"No," said Coo.  
"Or the fact that everyone here has really red eyes and is glaring at us menacingly?" said Kirby.  
"No," said Coo.  
"ARGH!" screamed a random Cappy, running past them. "WHISPY WOODS IS POSSESSED!"  
"Aha!" said Rick. "Kirby was right!"  
"I knew it all along," said Coo, who was very wise.  
"Letsch find Wisspy adn eet Wadl D's," said Gooey simple-mindedly.

As it turned out, Whispy Woods had indeed been possessed by Dark Matter. It was rather unfortunate, for him at least, because whenever Whispy was possessed, someone invariably beat him up. Usually Kirby.  
As Kirby and friends were about to encounter him, the outcome of this meeting should be completely unsurprising.

"Hi, Whispy," said Kirby.  
"I'm Dark Matter, idi- oh, hi, Kirby, it's me, Whispy," said Whispy Woods.  
"See?" said Pitch, turning to the others. "Whispy isn't possessed!"  
Whispy Woods laughed maniacally and dropped an apple on Pitch, crushing him.  
"Ow," said Pitch.  
Whispy Woods laughed a bit more and started bombarding them with apples.  
"I still hold that he's possessed," said Kirby.  
They ran.  
Around in circles, of course. For some strange reason, it hadn't occurred to them that leaving the vicinity would help them escape the wrath of a tree.  
"Well, back to my old anti-Whispy standby," said Kirby, who was too tired after about one second of running.  
He inhaled an apple…  
…and spat it out at Whispy Woods!  
He inhaled an apple…  
…and spat it out at Whispy Woods!  
He inhaled an apple…  
…and spat it out at Whispy Woods!  
He inhaled an apple…  
…and spat it out at Whispy Woods!  
He inhaled an apple…  
…and spat it out at Whispy Woods!  
He inhaled an-  
"An _orange_?" said Chuchu incredulously. "Since when do apple trees- oh, gross; pretend I never said anything."  
"Ooh vewy ecksotic," said Gooey, right before the eggplant he was staring at crushed him into a pulp.  
"Ha!" bellowed Whispy Woods in Dark Matter's voice. "As an apple tree, I can't be defeated! When I control Pop Star, I shall be _invincible_!"  
"Right, right," said Nago, scratching Whispy Woods in the face.  
"Ow!" said Whispy Woods. "That stung!"  
"Serves you right for trying to destroy everything that we all hold dear," said Nago rather self-righteously.  
"HA!" shouted Whispy Woods. "You cannot defeat me, the great Dark Matter! I have tracked your progress across Green Greens, and I-"  
"How?" said Coo.  
"Single mind," explained Whispy Woods, who was actually Dark Matter, who was actually – oops, we'll just leave that for the un-climatic climax, shall we?

During the fight, Gooey had snuck away to hunt Waddle Dees. He met with little success. Thus Gooey was a prime candidate for your pity.

Somehow, the fight completely devolved to the point where Whispy Woods trapped everyone somewhere nasty, such as… under a _giant apple_!  
"Oh, no," said Kirby. "Whispy Woods is going to kill us unless someone shows up at the last minute to save us!"  
Fortunately and predictably, Kine showed up. "Stop!" he said. "Don't hurt my friends!"  
Whispy Woods, again speaking in Dark Matter's voice, said, "Oh, yeah? And what exactly are you going to do to me, fish?"  
"Oh," said someone else, "he's going to really beat you up because he's the most _amazing person in the world_ and after that we're going to be best of friends and we'll have-"  
"You brought _her_ along?" said Chuchu angrily, motioning to the pink fish.  
Kine blushed. "She won't go away; and besides, I thought it would make for a useful distraction."  
"Fair enough."  
"How did the seven of you get trapped under that apple, anyway?" said Kine.  
"Shut up!" shouted Whispy Woods a. k. a. Dark Matter.  
The annoying pink fish held her ground. "-but then if that happens, that'll be okay because we're, like, like, you know, like the _greatest couple ever_ and then we'll _all be best friends_ and the world will be _perfect_ and-"  
"Come closer!" shouted Whispy Woods, straining to attack the fish.  
"I'm just going to sit down and watch the show," said Kine.  
"Oh, but I don't need to," said the pink fish, giggling, "because Kine is, like, the _best_ fish in the _entire universe_ and-"  
"GARGH!" yelled Whispy Woods, and he broke away from the ground, and started walking on his roots towards the pink fish.  
"-then that evil person will have to listen to reason and Kine will-"  
Whispy Woods walked closer, beginning to bombard the fish with fruit.  
The pink fish didn't notice. "-which will, of course, you know, mean that- **OOH** a tree out of the ground!"  
Whispy Woods looked down. "Oops. Well, this body is useless, then." With a loud _bang!_, Dark Matter zoomed out of Whispy Woods. "Curse you, you vile and utterly annoying fish!" he yelled, before zooming away.  
It finally occurred to Kirby that he could just inhale the apple pinning them down, and promptly did so.  
"Oh, not again," said Whispy Woods, looking down. "Uh, could someone push me back to my usual spot? Before I die, you know?"  
"Oh, okay," said Coo. And all of them pushed Whispy back.  
"Well, all is well," said Kirby.  
"Yay!" squealed the pink fish. "Now everything's better and it's all because Kine was such a _brave_-"  
-Chuchu grabbed the pink fish by the tail and dragged her off.  
"You know, for once, I actually approve of Chuchu's homicidal tendencies," said Kine, relieved. "You have no idea how b-"  
"I can guess," said Nago.  
They fell silent.  
"So," said Kirby, sitting down.

"-and you're _also_ a girl and that's wonderful because we can be the bestest friends ever and that will be so-"  
"This," said Chuchu, raising a tentacle, "is for giving a bad name to females."  
The pink fish wondered what was about to happen.

"Wow, that's loud," said Kirby.

"This," said Chuchu, "is for giving a bad name to aquatic creatures!"

"Anyone bring popcorn?" said Coo.  
"No," said Rick.  
"Pity."

"This is for giving a bad name to pink people! This is for giving a bad name to female aquatic creatures! This is for giving a bad name to female pink creatures! This is for giving a bad name to aquatic female creatures! This is for giving a bad name to aquatic pink creatures! This is for giving a bad name to pink females! This is for giving a bad name to pink aquatic creatures! This is for giving a bad name to female aquatic pink creatures! This is for giving a bad name to female pink aquatic creatures! This is for…"

For the record, the pink fish fully deserved it.**  
**


	9. On to Ripple Fields

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_On to Ripple Fields_**

"So," said Whispy, "I suppose that now that you've all had your bit of fun beating me up, you're going to go off and save the world?"  
"Something like that," said Kirby.  
Chuchu reappeared. "Hiya! I was just having a word with that pink fishy friend of yours, Kine!"  
"And am I free?" said Kine.  
Chuchu shrugged. "Well, I think that if fish have any bones, I snapped them. And she'll probably need those torn scales looked at. There are a couple of deep cuts, third-degree burns, and other things, but mostly they're just flesh wounds. She'll live."  
"Oh," said Kine, disappointed. "Are you sure she'll live?"  
"Well," said Chuchu, "you are my friend, and I do enjoy this so… tell me where you're all going, and I'll catch up with you."  
"Hmm," said Coo. "Well, I was thinking that we could head to Ripple Fields. Maybe we can find more Heart Stars there to defeat Dark Matter with; the place is rather populated."  
"Kay," said Chuchu brightly, "see ya!" And she ran back off to the annoying pink fish, who was talking to herself.

"…and maybe I might need several years of medical attention, but everything will soon be _perfect_ because Kine is the _best person in the world_ and there couldn't be…"

As the remaining seven adventurers travelled along the surface of Pop Star, Kirby couldn't help but wonder, "Why is Ripple Fields called Ripple Fields?"  
"Because, uh, it's a field, uh, full of ripples," said Coo, who was very wise.  
"Oh," said Kirby, "I suppose that's rather intuitive."  
"Yes, uh, it is," said Coo, who was very wise.  
And so they trekked on. Soon, they had reached the part of Pop Star known as Ripple Fields.  
"Well, this place is different," said Nago, in order to establish the change of setting.  
"There's a lot of water here," said Pitch tentatively. "I don't want to drown or anything…"  
Everyone else exchanged conspiratorial winks.  
"Okay," said Coo slowly, "don't worry about it; everything will be fine. We're all… going… to… be… calm…"

"Water!" cried Kine, diving into the nearest river. "Water, water, water! I NEED IT! WATER! WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER!"  
"…or not," finished Coo.  
Kine grinned weirdly and started swimming upside-down.  
"That's a tad worrisome," said Rick.  
"_I'm back!_" said Chuchu, bounding playfully into view.  
"That's really worrisome," said Rick.  
"Did I miss anything?" said Chuchu, beaming.  
"Well," said Kirby, "Kine just seems to have gone mad at the sight of water-"  
"KIRBY!" yelled Chuchu. "It's so _great_ to _see you_!"  
"You've just killed that fish, haven't you?" said Kirby.  
"Maybe," said Chuchu happily, jumping onto Kirby's head.  
"Where has the sanity gone?" said Coo. "Where _has the sanity gone_?"  
"WATER!" yelled Kine, leaping out of the water and snatching Kirby with his mouth.  
"NOOO!" said Kirby. "I don't want to die being eaten! It's too ironic!" He started crying.  
Perhaps it was this that brought Kine to his senses. "Oops," he said, "I must have gone slightly mad after spending a couple of days out of water."  
"I sympathise," said Chuchu, "but I'd like Kirby back; we were just about to start a romantic side-story."  
"No way!" said Kine. "That's completely wrong! You're an octopus; he's a… a… well, he's… hmm…"  
Chuchu snatched Kirby back.  
"Hey!" said Kine, grabbing Kirby with his mouth.  
Chuchu grabbed Kirby; Kine did, Chuchu did, Kine did, Chuchu did…  
"This is fun!" said Kirby, who evidently hadn't realised that being thrown around a lot was dangerous when Chuchu was involved. (As a side note, poor Gooey found this out first-hand a few days later.)  
"This is so annoying to watch," said Pitch, annoying everyone else by reminding them of his existence, "so stop it." He strode towards Chuchu and Kine to separate them and Kirby.  
"Well, we might as well stop for a while," said Coo resignedly. "It's not like we're going to get anything done here."  
Chuchu grabbed Kirby. Kine grabbed Kirby. Chuchu did. Kine did. Chuchu did. Kine did. Chuchu did. Kine did.  
"Wait…" said Chuchu. "You missed! Ha! I win!" And indeed, Kine hadn't grabbed Kirby on his last attempt.  
"That was a game?" said Kine.  
"Who did you just eat?" said Kirby.  
"You _ate_ someone?" said Chuchu.  
"I hungwy," said Gooey.  
"Kine ate someone?" said Coo.  
"Where's Pitch?" said Nago.  
"Oops," said Kine.

Unfortunately, Pitch survived this incident, and climbed out of Kine's mouth after a few minutes. Moral of the story: if you're going to kill someone, chew before you swallow.  
"Urgh," said Pitch, coughing up water.  
Everyone laughed at Pitch's expense.  
"People, I nearly **died**!" shouted Pitch angrily.  
Everyone laughed at Pitch's expense.  
Pitch coughed up more water. For no apparent reason, a flower suddenly grew right in front of Pitch.  
Everyone stared. "What the-"  
"Hi!" said the flower, "thanks for giving me life! Could you help my friends too?"  
"Ooh, a tulip," said Chuchu, who particularly liked flowers.  
"What's in it for us?" demanded Nago, gently gnawing on the tulip.  
The tulip considered. "Well… we'll give you… a…"  
"A heart star?" said Kirby, jumping to conclusions.  
"…yes," said the purple tulip. "Whatever that means."  
"Oh, okay," said Nago, taking one last bite from the tulip. He turned around to see Chuchu glaring at him. "Oh-"

By the time they found Nago at the bottom of a neighbouring lake and Chuchu sitting on top of him, Kirby and the rest of his friends had helped create a minor infestation of tulips.  
"Oh, thank you," said another generic tulip. A heart star suddenly appeared in front of it, an expression of gratitude.  
"Nice," said Kirby, taking the heart star. "At this rate, we'll- how many heart stars do we need to stop Dark Matter?"  
Nobody answered, but Nago coughed up a bit of water, which they took to mean 'thirty'.

_To be continued… (because there was a possibility you'd think the story ended here…)  
_


	10. Enemies and Friends

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Enemies and Friends_**

They all trekked along, until the sun began to set.  
"Perhaps we should just call it a day," suggested Rick, who couldn't take much more walking.  
"Yesh, I 'gree," said Gooey, who was looking forward to a delicious meal of Waddle Dee.  
"Why not?" said Kirby, who could think of more interesting things to do than continuing to walk.  
"Good idea," said Chuchu, who couldn't exactly inflict pain on others while they were in motion constantly.  
"Meh, I'll bite," said Nago, who also was getting a bit tired.  
"Yeah," piped up Pitch, who was promptly ignored by the rest of them.  
"Aw…" said Kine, "I'm enjoying this."  
"Maybe 'cause you're in your natural element," said Kirby, "water."  
"Untrue!" said Kine. "If my natural element is water, why can I survive for so long outside of it?"  
As there was no decent answer to this (that I could think of, anyway), the others conceded the point.  
It was then that they heard a small, pitiful moan.  
"Hark," observed Kirby, "a small, pitiful moan."  
"How deflating," said Chuchu, who raced towards the source of the moan to see whether she could cause some further suffering.

The source of the small, pitiful moan appeared to be a little orange Dreamlander with an umbrella sticking out of his head.  
"You're not serious," said Rick, shocked. "I've seen weird things, but…"  
"What's wrong?" said Chuchu, pretending to be a person who cared about others.  
"I'm so lonely and depressed," said the Dreamlander with an umbrella sticking out of his head.  
"Why?" said Kirby.  
"Because-" the Dreamlander broke into tears – "Nobody likes me or is like me."  
The eight of them quickly conferred in a group huddle.  
"Okay," whispered Kirby, "should we help the little thing?"  
"Its no Wadl D," said Gooey. "I don' liek eet it."  
"Let's help it," said Rick. "I feel sorry for it."  
"Aw," said Chuchu, who had been excited to find a new punching bag.  
They then returned to the Dreamlander.  
"Hey, there, little depressed person," said Nago. "We're here to, er, undepress you."  
"Oh, really?" said the little Dreamlander, looking up. "But how can I possibly feel happy when I know that nobody else in all of Dreamland is cursed with having a parasol sticking out of their head?"  
While Nago, Rick, and the Dreamlander talked, Kine quietly whispered to Pitch. "Pitch," he said, "come here. I've got a secret."  
"Oh, really?" said Pitch, interested. He grabbed a parasol and walked over to Kine. "What's up?"  
"Ha!" exclaimed Kine. "Too late! You've fallen for my trap!"  
"Which is…?" said Pitch.  
"…" said Kine. As he couldn't think of anything to say, he instead opted to eat Pitch.  
What Kine hadn't realised was that Pitch was still holding the parasol/umbrella thing, and he thus started to choke on it.  
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Kirby, who didn't really want Kine to die, because he liked Kine.  
"Hey!" said the Dreamlander, "someone with a parasol sticking out of them!" And he thus became immediately happy again and he gave them a Heart Star and they celebrated and all was well.  
Okay, so Kine was choking. Big deal.  
Remember, Pitch was being slowly and painfully killed, so any negative consequences of this are irrelevant.  
The celebration was interrupted, however, by a dreadful wailing from afar.  
"What's that noise?" said Nago, abruptly abandoning all attempts to fish Pitch out from Kine's mouth and score a quick meal.  
"It's… it's my _mum!_" shouted Rick.  
"Is that a bad thing?" said Kine.  
"Well, she's kind of mad at me…" began Rick.  
"That's okay," said Kine, "you can reason with her."  
"She wants me and all my friends dead," finished Rick.  
"I'll just go and hide under a tree," said Kine, and he went and hid under a tree.  
Rick's mother suddenly appeared from inside a small nearby building. "A-HA!" she shouted. "There you are, _Rick_!"  
"Wait!" began Rick. "We can all be friends!"  
Rick's mother belted him in the head with a brick.  
"Ooh," said Chuchu. "I like this hamster already."  
Rick swooned, and collapsed to the ground, in a faint, unconscious, not moving, and seemingly knocked out and out of action.  
"Now," yelled Rick's mother, "which of you wants to be next?"  
"Uh," said Kirby, "perhaps now would be a good time to, uh, run?"  
"Yes," said Coo, "that would be very wi-"  
Coo, however, was cut off mid-sentence by Rick's mum's brick. "OW!" he said. "That _hurt_!"  
Then they ran, as if there was no tomorrow.

Despite appearances, Rick's mum gave chase quite readily and quickly.  
"She's giving chase quite readily and quickly!" shouted Coo, looking behind them as they dashed across a long beach.  
"Thanks, I feel better now," replied Nago. Sarcastically.  
"Run faster!" shouted Rick. "You have no idea what horrors she'll subject us to if she catches us!"  
As they ran, the ground beneath them changed from sandy shores to blue rock and coral.  
Kine skidded to a halt. "Weren't we running on sand half a second ago?"  
"No time for that; keep running!" shouted Rick. He grabbed Gooey for no particular reason and dived into a pool.  
The other five shrugged and dived in as well. They swam through a conveniently placed underwater tunnel and ended up in another area of the reef.  
"Where the heck are we?" wondered Nago.  
Rick's mother appeared on the horizon, yelling something ghastly.  
"Keep going!" shouted Rick.  
As they ran, they came across an eel in a vase.  
"Ooh," said Gooey, stopping running. "An EEEL in a vaes!"  
"Hi," said the eel, "I'm supposed to let you play a game for a Heart Star."  
"Ooh," said everyone else, as they stopped running, "a Heart Star."  
"What do we do to get it?" wondered Kirby.  
"Just find which vase I'm in!" exclaimed the eel, diving into his vase. Four other vases poofed into existence around them.  
(If you object to my using onomatopoeia as a verb, just… well, it's my story, okay? I can use 'twang' as an adverb **whenever I want**!)  
"How did that happen?" said Coo, who was very wise.  
The eel popped his head out of another vase, and then dived back in. His head bobbed in and out of various vases for a few more seconds, and then he stopped.  
"So…?" prompted Kirby.  
"You're supposed to find me!" came a muffled voice.  
"Oh," said Kirby. He tapped the vase the eel had last appeared in. "Are you in there?"  
The eel popped his head out of the aforementioned vase. "Correct! Now we just do this a couple more times!"  
Rick's mother crashed into Rick, who yelped and dived into a vase. All of our heroes sensed danger and dived into various other vases as well.  
"Oh, no you don't!" yelled Rick's mother, diving into the vases as well.  
The following scene would be time-consuming and ridiculous to describe in depth, so I'll summarise it briefly: Kirby, Gooey and the animal friends dived in and out of vases, as did Rick's mother. There were close shaves and inexplicable swaps, and Knuckle Joe made a couple of cameo appearances.  
This entire chaotic affair ended when Chuchu and Rick's mother appeared out of the same vase at the same time.  
"Are you seeing my son?" shouted Rick's mother.  
Chuchu hit Rick's mother with such force that she (the mother) went comically flying into the horizon with no little degree of unrealism.  
"Nobody beats Rick up but me!" she shouted after her.  
Everyone fell silent after that anticlimactic ending.  
"Well, thanks for getting rid of whoever that was," said the eel. "Here, have a Heart Star." The eel and the vases vanished in a puff of smoke leaving only a Heart Star behind.  
Everyone fell silent.  
"Now what?" said Kirby.

**Www. Hoogi. Brickfilms. Com/Smashmansion**


	11. Droll and Toad

**Antimatter**

By tikitikirevenge

Legal note: I do not intend any profit from writing about Nintendo-owned characters. However, if you could spare a couple million dollars, I'd be much obliged…

**_Droll and Toad_**

They walked. What else could they have done? I suppose they could have sat, but really, who'd do that? Yes, they walked. Walk, walk, walk.  
After walking like this for a period of time, they ceased to walk.  
"Why have we stopped walking?" inquired Coo, who was very wise.  
"Look," said Kirby, pointing ahead.  
Ahead led to a large, beautiful building. There were many floors, held up by columns.  
"Such beautiful columns," said Chuchu. "They're blue and white."  
"Kind of boring," said Pitch. "You'd think there'd be something _inside_, right? Not just… floors and columns?"  
"Well…" shrugged Coo. "Wait. You're still alive?"  
"Got a problem with that?" demanded Pitch, wings on hips.  
Everyone turned to look at him.

Two minutes later, having made sure that Pitch really had been drowned, they made their way into the strangely empty building.  
"Wonderful," said Kirby. "Wet, though."  
He, too, had noticed the cascading water and numerous leaks which made the place a bit… well, wet (for lack of a better word).  
"Maybe we should get out of the water," suggested Coo, who was very wise, but now also wet.  
"How do we do that?" said Kirby. "We can't all fly."  
"I cun flie," added Gooey helpfully, before tripping over his tongue.  
"Did… but… though… uh…" Coo wasn't completely sure how to respond to this display of utter stupidity, so he continued to walk as briskly as was possible in this water.  
Suddenly, without warning, a toad landed on Rick's head.  
"Rick…" said Nago, eyes wide, "stay _ve-ry_ still…"  
"What?" said Rick, looking up.  
The toad landed on his face.  
"HELP! THERE'S A TOAD ON MY FACE!" yelled Rick.  
Chuchu picked it up. "Come on, it's kind of cute, really," she chastised.  
The toad licked her in the face.  
"Maybe not," she reconsidered, throwing it at Nago.  
"HELP! TOAD!" he said, clawing at his eyes.  
"Ish toad," said Gooey, picking the toad up. "Good toad," he added, petting it.  
"Wait," said Kirby. "Maybe this toad might help us get more Heart Stars."  
"What makes you think that?" said Coo.  
"A weird chime just played when Gooey picked it up."  
"So?"  
"Whenever something related to the Heart Stars happens, I keep on hearing a strange noise – this is it."  
"So now we have musical cues?" said Nago, annoyed. "Do they think we're idiots on a treasure hunt?"  
"Who's 'they'?" said Kirby.  
"I… don't… know…" said Nago, "it just… seemed like… a good thing… to say…" With nothing else to say, he ducked under the waterline and out of sight.  
"Idiots on a treasure hunt," pondered Rick. "That could be our tagline or something."  
"The Dreamland Six: idiots on a treasure hunt," Kirby proclaimed in loud tones. "Sounds kind of catchy."  
They continued to walk along.  
"So," said Nago, "any idea how to get this next Heart Star?"  
"We could try feeding the frog to Gooey," suggested Kirby.  
They did.  
Gooey choked.  
But it paid off, because they got a Heart Star.  
"What do we need these things for, anyway?" said Rick.  
"Quiet, you," said Coo, who was very wise.  
"And where's Kine?" said Rick.  
They came to a halt.  
"Oh, he's here," said Chuchu, pointing in the water. "He's just lying on his back, in the water."  
"Wait…" said Coo, "Kine's upside down?"  
"Yeah," said Chuchu.  
Silence.  
"Uh, oh," said Kirby.


	12. The Shore, the Statue

**Antimatter**  
By tikitikirevenge

**_The Shore, The Statue_**

* * *

"Kine…" said Coo, "is floating… upside-down?"

"Yes," said Chuchu impatiently. "Now, can we get going?"

"He could be dead," said Coo.

"What?" said Chuchu. "That's ridiculous. If he was dead, he'd be turning blue, right?"

Everyone paused after she said that, trying to think of a reply to that remark which wouldn't sound absolutely ludicrous.

"I think he's dead," Kirby said finally.

"Why would he be dead, though?" said Rick, wading over to Kine's still form.

"Maybe he choked on that frog," suggested Kirby.

"Nah, that was Gooey," said Chuchu dismissively.

"When was the last time we all saw him alive?" said Coo.

Everybody thought a bit.

"We were talking right before we found the frog…" said Nago cautiously.

"Good, that's a great start," said Coo. "Now, we just have to work out why he died."

"He's not dead," said Pitch.

Everyone turned and gasped in shock.

"You're dead!" cried Kirby. "We killed you!"

"…what?" said Pitch.

"…a shark killed you!" corrected Kirby.

"Anyway," said Pitch, "it looks as if he has merely fainted."

"How would you know?" countered Coo.

"Because," said Pitch.

"Why would he have fainted?" said Chuchu.

"Don't ask me," said Pitch.

"Maybe we should give him mouth-to-mouth," suggested Rick.

"That wouldn't work," said Coo. "Fish can't drown."

"Pitch, give him mouth-to-mouth," said Chuchu.

"Over my dead body!" snapped Pitch.

Chuchu jumped on top of Pitch and smothered him to death.

"I _said_, give him mouth to mouth," repeated Chuchu.

The demand didn't elicit a response from Pitch.

* * *

Still wading through water, they pushed Pitch along until they reached a beach.

"Oh. My. God. Dry. Land." said Nago, crawling out of the water and lying down to bask in the sun.

"Come on, we haven't been in the water _that_ long," said Chuchu dismissively.

"Six days, four hours, and thirty-three minutes," said Rick, who had already splayed himself flat upon the sand.

"Well," said Coo, "I got to fly, so _ha_."

Rick swiped at Coo but missed, probably because they were nowhere near each other.

"Helpsch," said Gooey, whose tongue was already stuck its full length in the sand.

"Well," said Kirby, "let's go find a way to get Kine to wake up."

Rick and Nago muttered incoherently.

"Actually, dry land _is_ kind of nice," said Kirby.

He jumped down between them and fell asleep.

Chuchu and Coo looked at each other.

"So," said Chuchu, "it looks as if we'd better do this – _alone_."

Cue drum roll.

"It's not really alone if there are two of us," said Coo.

"Shut up," said Chuchu, glancing behind her to watch Gooey struggle in the sand.

"Yes, sir," said Coo.

And so Chuchu and Coo went for a walk together in the middle of an unknown beach deep within Ripple Fields. It didn't actually last very long; about three minutes in, Coo made the mistake of speaking.

"Where are we going?" he wondered out loud.

"_Silence!_" cried Chuchu, diving into Coo and knocking him down into the water, before pummelling him with her tentacles.

"I'm wet!... my feathers!" gasped Coo, climbing out.

"You completely deserved that," said Chuchu, putting on her most innocent-looking face.

"Hello?" said a friendly, quiet voice from behind them.

Chuchu and Coo turned around, momentarily distracted from their little fight.

The voice came from another weirdly-shaped Dreamlander. This one was shaped a bit like a jagged diamond. But not really. Do you want a picture, maybe? Too bad. (I guess you just have to have played the game to understand.)

"Oh, um, hi…" said Chuchu, dropping the pebble that she was holding behind her back.

"Hi, there," said Coo.

"Oh, hi," said the Dreamlander. "My name is Pukapa."

"Wow," said Chuchu, "I really needed to know that. Thank you."

"I'm lonely," continued the Dreamlander named Pukapa.

"Really?" said Chuchu, looking quite shocked. "He's lonely." She turned to Coo. "Did you hear that, Coo? What's-his-name here is _lonely_."

"That's horrible," said Coo, with genuine concern. "Do you want to join us? We're on a quest to…"

"No, thank you," said Pukapa.

"Well," said Coo, "I can't really help you, then."

Pukapa the Dreamlander made a very distressing sad face.

"Oh, fine, what do you want?" said Coo, giving in.

"A gigantic statue of myself!" proclaimed Pukapa.

"A _what_?" said Chuchu.

"I said-" said Pukapa.

"I heard you," interrupted Chuchu.

"But-" said Pukapa.

"Okay," said Chuchu, "this is how it's going to work. First, you leave us alone, _forever_. Then, we give you your giant statue. Okay?"

Coo looked bored.

"I want the statue first!" said Pukapa.

Chuchu grabbed a single Star Block that was floating in the air. "There!" she said, brushing her hands. "A statue of you. Go eat your heart out."

"That doesn't look like me!" said Pukapa.

"Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror?" said Chuchu.

Pukapa considered that. "No… but I've seen me in the water."

"Well," said Chuchu as sweetly as she could, "that's what you look like. Your reflection must have been distorted by all the waves."

"Really?" said Pukapa.

"Yes," said Chuchu.

"Thanks _sooo_ _much_!" said Pukapa. He raced off, carrying the Star Block with him (somehow).

Chuchu and Coo stared after him.

"Well," said Coo, "at least _someone_ on all of Pop Star is happy."

"Just doing whatever it takes for a little privacy," shrugged Chuchu.

A Heart Star floated out of the ground where the Dreamlander had been standing moments previously.

"We should take that," said Coo.

"Yeah," said Chuchu.

Neither of them moved.

"You get it," said Chuchu.

Neither of them moved.

* * *

A/N:

1. Yes, I made that name up. Pronounce it all Japanese-style. (Just a bit of creative license so I don't sound as dull as a raincloud.)

2. I'm reformatting the chapters so they're easier on the eye. I've finally come to the conclusion that you need more whitespace on a computer screen than on a paper page.

3. Oh, and GIVE ME MORE REVIEWS – or Kirby will send me to eat you.


End file.
